Camp JOY Reflection

by Lyanna Wong

I’ve never been one to embrace change or new situations too easily. Very often, I get pessimistic, and fret about everything – people I’ll meet, things I’ll have to do and the like. The thought of being thrown into new and unfamiliar company frightens me. And camps are the perfect nightmare for people like me. Which is why I was reluctant to sign up for Camp Joy at first. It took many weeks of much persuasion and encouragement from various YC-ers before I finally filled in the registration form and handed it in.

Even so, that didn’t stop the typical pre-camp jitters I always get. The night before camp, the idea of not going at all crossed my mind. But I had promised to go, and I’d paid $50 for it already. No way was I gonna forfeit that money! =p

A friend then invited me for morning mass at 615, just before the start of camp. I shrugged the idea off almost immediately. I mean, was he crazy? Mass? In the wee hours of the morning? Between that and more time to snuggle under the covers of my bed, of course I’d pick the latter. But then, the idea slowly began to grow on me. Meeting Jesus and praying seemed like a good way to start the day, as well as the camp. And so I dragged myself out of at bed at 5am (still a bit unwillingly) , and troubled my dad to send me to church. However, it’s a decision I don’t regret. Mass miraculously soothed my nerves, and all negative vibes I had about camp just vanished. Praise be to God!

With a newfound confidence and sense of calm, I entered a 4-day whirlwind of activities, emotions and fun.

The first day was a bumpy rollercoaster ride for me. I’d been assigned group leader to my group, and leading’s hardly the easiest job. On top of that, our very first activity was the outdoor scavenger hunt a la Amazing Race. I had to slowly break down the initial wall of caution among strangers, and then deal with and accept the very different personalities of each team member. In addition, we had to work together to go through with the race, meeting obstacles that challenged body, mind and spirit. It was also a fruitful time of bonding, though. Teamwork then became a much simpler task.

The next day found us up and about a lot, as Roger Jenkins, the drama guy the YC had invited, made us reflect on things like the masks we wore, trust, our relationship with others... among other things, all through the effective and productive use of drama and other creative activities.

Our minds were roused to really think about who we really were beneath the various masks we wore, to perhaps keep us from being vulnerable to the world. Roger actually brought in some real masks to demonstrate how different an image we portray under different masks. This was something quite close to my heart. I admit I wear masks. It’s basically become a defence mechanism where I hide the real me from the world. I feel like I need to put up a façade for people to perhaps accept me. Of course, this isn’t really good because then others would be liking me not for me, but for the ‘me’ that I showed them. There are few to whom I actually reveal myself to. And even so, it’s not always easy. Then there’s the big dude up there, who knows me through and through, whether or not I wear a mask, and loves me all the same. It sounds quite ridiculous, isn’t it? Even now, I find it hard to believe. But it’s the truth… and it’s incredible.

One of my favourite activities of the day has to be the trust walk. Basically, we were to pair up and then take turns to lead our partners around the room (in different ways: from guiding with only the arm to using only the voice and so on) with their eyes closed. It’s good to note that there were various obstacles in the way, such as pillars, chairs and equipment strewn across the room. With that setting, you led your partner around the room, ensuring his/her safety as much as possible. I can tell you, it gets quite nerve-wrecking not knowing where you’re headed, or whether you’re about to collide with someone else, or bang into a wall. At the end of the day, it was all about trust. Trust that your partner will lead you to safety. We had to place our safety in our partner’s hands, while we became close to totally vulnerable and helpless. The feeling is amazing, really, when you finally are able to trust someone so much, and have that person reciprocate that trust. I’m not sure how else to describe that emotion but it’s quite simply, beautiful. I’ve also come to realize that trust is something so precious, priceless and invaluable… I suppose I have to remember not to take the trust people have placed in me for granted, especially since I’ve been so blessed with that trust. I thank God for this… Plus, He’s the one I can ALWAYS trust. =) Doesn’t it feel so good to know that?

Then came the part where I can relate to pretty well. Listening to others. Very often, we think that listening is just about keeping your ears open and taking in whatever the other party is saying. Roger taught us that listening was so much more. It’s about giving your FULL attention to the other person, and really understanding the situation he/she is in. It’s about body language, as well as asking questions and saying things at appropriate times. This seemed particularly apt at that point of time, as I had encountered a few listening sessions on my part. It meant so much… and I believe it’s all part of God’s plan, to emphasize how important good listening behaviour is.

Here comes the hard part. It’s taken me nearly a month (or more), perhaps, to write this last section, since the previous paragraph, that is. I’m not sure why, but I experienced so much in the last 2 days that I’m finding it hard to put it down in words. There are some emotions I can’t even put my finger to. So, if you’ll bear with me, I’ll try to explain as best I can.

The third day was probably the biggest highlight of the entire camp. Yes, I had fun with the games and the like, but it wasn’t till evening that I really experienced the essence of Camp JOY. Never before have I ever attended a Mass or praise and worship session like I did that night.

Mass was made special, where all of us were involved in some way besides being a regular parishioner. Groups took charge of a certain section of Mass (ie. Paraliturgy, Responsorial Psalm, Readings, Intercessory Prayers.. etc.) and personally, it made all the difference. I will admit that sometimes, during Sunday masses, I don’t quite feel like I’m really participating in the celebration. So for once, I was actually part of it, and not just an onlooker. Somehow, it felt really different, but in a good way. Yeah, it was good (for lack of a better word). =)

Then we proceeded into the Praise and Worship session. Funny thing is, I hardly noticed that Mass was over. Somehow, both events were kinda fused together, where the transition was really not much of a transition. It was all quite lovely though.

As I’d mentioned before, PnW was rather special that night. It wasn’t so much the choice of songs, or the people leading (lest I sound like the songs and leaders were insignificant, I want to give them credit for doing a brilliant job of it. Well done!), but rather, it was the sharing of love, joy and friendship with each other. Many were moved to tears, and not one was left uncomforted. Even if it was in the simplest of ways, every person was affirmed that night. I was no exception to the tears. But strangely enough, this was the first time I’d shed a tear for no reason. It may sound silly and ridiculous, and some might think it’s ‘mass hysteria’. But, really. I don’t usually cry for no reason. That night, however, I found myself tearing and wondered why. It was not a bad feeling though. In fact, I was filled with a most satisfying and pleasant sensation. I could actually feel God’s presence among us, which was amazing. And after the tears? Everyone was whisked into a most excellent time of praise, worship, fun and laughter. Joy was written on everyone’s face (especially when the Camp Chief announced that ‘lights out’ time was extended till past midnight! =p).

The last day was basically clear-up, wrap-up, pack-up and get-up-and-go. The high from the previous night was still evident in all the campers, but you could also tell that there was a mix of sadness and relief. Well, for me anyway. Huh, you might ask. Sadness, because I felt it was pretty anti-climax. You know, get so happy and high and you just want more and more but then the camp ends and I have to go home. But at the same time, I was quite relieved that camp was over because I was really tired. I’d spent all 3 nights up late and the many activities of camp had taken its toll on me.

All in all, it was a wonderful experience. It’s all really quite indescribable, and really, however much I’ve tried to share about my feelings, I still feel like it’s not complete. Simply because I can’t describe it. But I had loads of fun, and I’m hungering for more. I really can’t wait for the next camp now. =)

I thank God for giving me the opportunity to attend the camp, especially given how I nearly didn’t make it. But I suppose He meant for me to go, put aside my fears, make new friends and simply have fun. The memories of camp still linger in my mind and never fail to put a smile on my face. Yup, it was Camp JOY all right. =)